Dear "Mr. I Know More Than You"

Dear “Mr. I know more about your machinery than you do”,

Let me start by saying good morning to you as well. Now, as for your question of whether or not I can warm your coffee up in our microwave, let me again tell you no, because we do not have a microwave. Yes, I understand you see us heating up sandwiches in a high temp oven, but let me assure you, you don’t want me to put this paper cup in that.

What’s that you say? I can? Oh! I’m sorry, you clearly have more of an understanding of how everything in here works than I do. Thank GOD you came in, all these years I was told NOT to do that, but since YOU say it is okay, it MUST be.

I know, I know, how dare I offer to actually pour you a new cup, instead of simply putting this beverage in the oven. Stupid retail worker me. How on earth do these stores function without your intelligent observations. I was going to let you know that dumping half of your coffee out in the trash, then filling the rest up with milk was the root of the problem, but again, I must be wrong, what would I know?

Oh, you have another option? You want me to put the steam wand in your cup and reheat that way? I am sure everyone would appreciate that. Why should anyone be bothered by us contaminating our equipment with your particular germs, once again you wow me with your problem solving techniques, they are for more effective than my own.

To think, I was just going to recommend you let me make you a coffee with steamed milk, so it doesn’t mess with the temperature. How crazy am I?? Can you believe they let someone like me run this joint? Crazy corporation.

In the end, let me commend you for your stand in the end. As children we are told to not throw a fit when we don’t get our way, but way to challenge the norm sir! That’s right, storm out of here, it will make me think long and hard about the poor decisions I make, and not at all about what an asshole you are. Have a wonderful day.

Sincerely,

Maggie