Dear "I come here everyday"

Dear “I come in here everyday”,

Yes, oh, we know you come here everyday, and let me just say what a pleasure it is to see you …. Every… day. This may come as a shock, but there are many people who frequent the same coffee shop. I totally understand how you may think you’re the only regular we have. I am so sorry there are days you have to wait an extra minute for your beverage.

Let me give you some helpful hints so you can better understand the process. Well, first there is what we like to call a “line”. From that line, we make drinks in the order they are received. SO, when you see the line is, how would you say… um, long, you should be prepared that it may take longer than say, when the line is, short.

Being a COFFEE shop, the line will tend to be longer in the morning time, since this particular beverage is usually enjoyed in the morning. Therefore, in the morning when you are here, there MAY be people in front of you. Oh, wait, that’s right, but you’re the one that comes in everyday, and it is proper business practice for said person to bypass any social manner system and be pushed to the front. I will discuss that with the higher ups, but I have to tell you, it is still going to be the same order, because you all come here everyday.

I will also take the time to explain to you, that each order needs to be prepared by a real human being. I know, sometimes you forget to think of us as fellow human beings, it is hard for you. So as these humans quickly prepare each drink… in order…. Yours will be called out shortly. I can only imagine the stress that this may cause you, and how you have to survive through your day with us running an establishment with such medieval rules must make you want to pull your hair out.

Might I recommend a suggestion box with your company for a vending machine? That way you can stand in front of an inanimate object and wait for that machine to give you your beverage. Another option may be to try to make it yourself, it is very complex, you will need hot water.. never mind, scratch that idea, I don’t want you to burn yourself.

In the end, I understand your judgment of us, I really do, and the problems we cause in your life are very overwhelming, but I can’t help noticing your AIG badge as we have this conversation, and it kind of makes me think, you have a much better insight of what it is to screw people over than we do. Think about it. Have a lovely day!

Sincerely,

Maggie