Pop Princess' Mom

Dear “80’s pop star princess’ mom”,

We appreciate having your daughter with us here today, and might I add, she is absolutely lovely. How do I say this delicately though… your micromanaging of the situation is entirely unnecessary, we have this totally under control. A nicely formed line, with many staff members directing traffic, is all the organization you need for this mind-blowing event. I am sure back in her hay day, the malls were a mad house of over zealous teens, but this crowd is a little different, she is safe here.

This is a signing for her playboy cover ma’am. It is in the Castro in San Francisco, and we have an attendance of about 90 gay men, and ten women who are just that dedicated to her music. No one is going to try and accost her. Now if her red headed competition was in the house that might be a different story.

I appreciate you calling me over every thirty seconds to give suggestions on how this should be handled, but really, I have this. I also think you should refrain from making limits to what she can and cannot sign. As her mother, I feel you should want her to sign her albums, and not just her playboy cover magazine… but I don’t have kids, so what do I know?

Please stop telling my staff what to do, especially in that condescending bitchy tone, they really don’t care who you are, and quite frankly aren’t going to even try and pretend like they do. They are record store employees, to act like you care is totally against the nature of their position.

All I can leave you with is your daughter was extraordinarily kind and pleasant, which makes me believe she must absolutely take after her father. Thanks for coming by.

Sincerely,

Maggie