Elderly Satan

Dear “Demon Disguised as a little old Woman”,

I should have known when everyone scattered the minute you walked in, I should have been scared. I had no idea what I was in for though. You were so sweet, you even told me how nice I was. I always have a soft spot in my heart for the elderly, and I try to be as Beaver Cleaver as I can when it comes to my approach to you. I had no idea my question would be so offensive.

That said, I can’t apologize enough for trying to clarify what type of milk you would want with your coffee. And when you totally lost your shit and confronted me with the perplexing “what kind of question is that??” I actually did pause for a second to think about it. I can’t believe I tried to apologize by saying sometimes people prefer a different kind of milk with their coffee. What was I thinking?

When you continued to toss up your arms and with your eyes popping out of your head ask me “Do I look like other people????” followed with “I don’t care what OTHER people do, I want what I want!!!!” For the record, you definitely did look like the spawn of Satan, but I felt that response wasn’t going to get me anywhere, so I kept that revelation to myself.

I am sure to those around not hearing the whole context of the exchange, but able to hear you ranting about being treated so poorly, I looked like the Kevorkian of the coffee industry. I also would like you to know, for what it’s worth, I tried to be as non combative as possible in this situation because I thought you were either going to have a stroke in that moment, or turn into a fiery hell beast and kill me.

The next time you come in, which I know you will, I will make sure I keep my questions to the bare minimum, and decide on my own, with no insight from you, what you will be drinking that day. Please don’t lodge a complaint about me to your dark master.

Sincerely,

Maggie