Do you have a bathroom?

Dear “Do you have a bathroom?”,

No. We don’t. Please don’t ask where we go then. Obviously we go in a bathroom, for employees only. In fact, we even have a nice little sign, at eye level, stating it is for employees only. There is even a threatening read hand at the end of the sign that basically means “seriously stop what you’re doing, it’s not going to happen”. That isn’t enough for you? Ok, perhaps the key pad on the door that only those who work here have the combination to should be a sign. If you would like to work here to gain this amazing benefit, please feel free, but know you are going to have to deal with people like you complaining about the lack of a bathroom ever day on top of everything else.

One of the educational advancements of working in the retail food industry is sitting through classes to learn about proper codes of conduct. The most important thing I learned was if an establishment has less than twenty seats, they are not required to have a public restroom. Count the chairs around you, feel free to use your iWhatever to help you, and you will find only nineteen here. I made sure I threw the other five out the minute I found this information out! It was the best piece of useless information I have ever discovered.

I would also like to let you know, I am not bothered at all by the question, I am bothered by your reaction. There is no need to yell at me about public policy, need I remind you you are not even a customer, you just came in and bee lined to the back of the café to relieve yourself. As a side note, I would actually like to thank you for not doing just that anywhere on the floor, as this has happened in previous work places.

You should know, that if you were a pregnant woman or a child, I am always willing to bend the rules. YOU however are a grown adult who is just too embarrassed to go at work, you think I want to let you do that here?

Welcome to the reason we no longer have a “public” restroom sicko.

Sincerely,

Maggie