low talker

Dear “Low Talker”,

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. At all. Please don’t look at me like I’m crazy when I ask you to repeat your order, perhaps by the third time I ask it should be your cue to speak up. I have tried to read your lips, but this giant pastry case I am trying to look over is blocking a clear view. Also from the glimpse I did have, I believe you may be a mumbler as well, so unless you make more of an effort to speak louder, and less effort giving me your best pissed off expression, you are just going to end up with whatever I think you may want, which will be a small drip coffee every time.

This is not a personal attack, I have friends who are low talkers, and they know this about themselves, which I’m sure you do as well. Being kind and understanding human beings, they make an effort to speak up for others, you on the other hand refuse to help this situation in any way. You might as well be an avox from "The Hunger Games".

Yes, you are going to have to go through this process once you get to the register too. Why? Because they can’t hear you either. They can however hear me when I scream it from five feet away. I am the other end of the spectrum, I am what one would call a loud talker, and you might want to thank me for it, or else no one here was ever going to get your novel of a drink.

How about next time you just write it down, it will save both of us some time hating one another.

Sincerely,

Maggie