cracked out customer calling 911 on me

Dear “Cracked out Customer calling 911 on me right now”,

Let me start by telling you, cops in San Francisco are not going to show up because you have been kicked out of a record store. As crazy as that may sound, there may be more important issues happening on a Friday night in this city.

I know what you are thinking right now, “but the customer is always right”, many have been confused by this philosophy, so I don’t blame you. The minute you raced to call 911 on ME, before I could do so on you, I could tell how wronged you felt. I actually had a moment of reflection and thought perhaps I was in the wrong.

However, in case I haven’t been clear, the reason I have asked you to leave, is because you are cracked out of your mind, harassed one of my employees, and then told us you would be back here later with a gun. I know I am just some naïve girl from the Midwest, and I overact to such silly threats, but I just can’t help myself.

I can also guarantee you this is nothing personal, I also kicked out the smelly crack head who threatened my assistant this morning by saying she was going to “rip of his arms and set him on fire”. What can I say, I just don’t feel like people should have such images in their head while trying to set up the new Whitney Houston display.

I would also like to say “you’re welcome” for waiting with you for two hours after my shift on a Friday night, so we could see if the cops actually show up, and to make sure you got the spelling of my name correct. You are seriously cutting into my karaoke and diner food eating plans for the evening, but what can I say, I am that dedicated to my craft.

As you stand on Market street yelling obscenities at me, I want you to think long and hard about some of your life choices, and perhaps add more easy listening titles to your collection. Perhaps some soothing Enya, or Barry Manilow. Yes, even in moments like this fine Sir, I am still dedicated to bringing new listening enjoyment into the lives of many.

Have a great evening, and no, we are not hiring, but I would recommend checking out Rasputin records, you seem like a fine fit for them.

Sincerely,

Maggie