Non Ordering Friend

Dear “Non Ordering Friend”,

I am sure that what you have to share at this exact moment in time is beyond important. In fact, I am positive that it will most likely change the world for the better. However, as you stand in front of me without taking pause for your friend to order her coffee, the line is building behind you. You think you’re day is bad? You are ruining the day of several, including my own.

I can’t help but listen in either, since I have absolutely nothing else to do right now, but take your attentive friend’s order. By the way, you should know that since you haven’t shut up since the moment you walked in, your friend has yet to decide what she even wants making everyone, including myself, wait even longer.

From what I am hearing you’re right though, this person you speak of is absolutely selfish, and only cares about what she needs. I can’t such people even exist. You know what else causes pain? The looks I am getting from the rest of the people here, who tend to perceive this as my fault. I just stand here looking like a complete moron with my customer service clown smile on, hoping eventually this middle school drama story ends, and I can move on to the rest of the people glaring at me.

Here’s a thought, why don’t you take a deep breath, let your friend order her skinny latte, and then you can continue on with your own personal episode of the real stock brokers of Manhattan. I have no doubt the conclusion of this mindless nonsense is nothing short of riveting.

Thank you so much for finally pausing so she could order. For the record, I had no choice but to ask you as well if you would like something, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciated the disgusted look on your face as you didn’t even answer with a ”no”, but instead just shook your hand at me as you continued on with your time wasting recap of someone that sounds a lot like you.

Sincerely,

Maggie