Group orders

Dear "those ordering in groups”,

I know I should be happy for your business, but to be totally honest, I’m not. Here is why.

First of all, no matter how easy we make it to form a line in this establishment, your “group” manages to not only destroy the entire process, but other individuals tend to follow in your form creating what can only be the definition of the term “cluster f*%k”. So now, we have to not only decipher your order, which you all inevitably change anyway once you see someone elses’, but we also have to cattle herd you like kindergartners back in to a line that the rest of America will somehow understand in this complex world of stanchions and “line form here signs”.

Second of all, you always manage to come in at the absolute worst point of the day. By this time frame, I mean any part of our hours of operation, because let’s be honest, there is never a good time for this to happen. I would be lying to you if I said there was.

Third of all, groups normally come in when on some sort of trip, so there is an extra sense of bewilderment when you come in, like it’s part of the tour! Guess what fools, we are the same thing you can find in your own neighborhood back home, nothing special about it, welcome to Corporate America! Order your milkshake you think is coffee and move on to your next photo op.

Oh, and no, you can’t take a picture with us. I will say though, you’re going to be lucky if you make it through this trip of yours without me photoboming one of your photos with the only sign language I happen to know.

Please learn how to be an individual, order that way, figure out the purpose of a line, and until you do these three things, stay out of my store.

Sincerely,

Maggie